Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize