You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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