Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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