I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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