Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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