The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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