i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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