I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
