I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
