If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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