That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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