Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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