Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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