i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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