i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
