My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
