remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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