Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize