dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
