a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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