all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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