I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
