yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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