Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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