all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
