Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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