I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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