when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
