your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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