so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
