i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize