stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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