Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
