i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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