Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
