Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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