Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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