I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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