are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i drank out of a bidet.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
