She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
