Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize