Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
