**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize