Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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