Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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