you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
