Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
