got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
