we made out on top of his cat.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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