There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
