i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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