While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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