Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
