whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
