Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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