Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
