Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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