My hand turned me down
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We are all done wearing pants today
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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