I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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