I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
