In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
