i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
