who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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