my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
