AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
