saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
